These are stories by Martin which he called "The Smith Stories"

"Nettie going out on a date, getting dressed. Barry aged 5 or 6. I get camera to go into and take picture of Nettie. Picture developed, nettie in black bra and panties, screaming for the picture in order to tear it up. Whole uproar in house yelling and screaming "Give me that picture!!"

Sister Vera is approximately 12, babysitting Ilene (6 months). Smells smoke in our apartment. Calls mama on the phone. Marjorie goes nuts. Runs down, hails a cab and tells him, "Here's $5. My sister's house is on fire. We live 4 blocks away." Marjorie and mama come to our apartment all excited and breathless. Rush in and Vera says, "What is the matter there is no fire."

Eddie calls mama at home. He just had lunch with Helen and wants to bring her home for dinner that night. So what does mama Dora do. It is about 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon. She immediately starts cooking the hamburger so that when Ed brings Helen home at 7:00pm they will be ready.

Ed is about 12 years old. Vera is 15. Ed brings a dead eagle home and waits for Vera to come home. When she does Eddie holds the eagle by the legs. Ed opens the door, Vera sees the eagle and faints and falls down like she's dead. Out like a light! Mama throws the eagle down the dumb waiter. The janitor cleans up and sees the dead eagle and screams "What is going on in this building!"

Vera gets a job at Coney Island making malteds. She is about 17, sweating, working hard. Glad she got work. The boss is teaching her to make malted drinks. Brilliant Vera picks up the dishwasher powder and pours it in with the milk. Up pops bubbles and more and more bubbles. Remember she has just been hired. They do not know what to do. The machine is working and you can't stop it. It is flooding the area! Vera gets fired, one hour on the job.

Last one in, Papa Joe at 11 or 12 at night, slightly soused, noisy. Wakes up the whole household and says "Veres my dinner?" telling terrible stories all loud, too unpleasant to repeat. He falls asleep on the couch.

Summer night. Second floor, Marjorie, Nettie and Vera getting undressed in bedroom. Many a hot summer night. The 2 windows, shades up, always up. People sitting on benches on parkway looking in girls window seeing them undressing and all of a sudden the get frantic because they realize the shades are up and maybe people from the street might be able to see them undressing. Embarrassing situation, the screaming and commotion that went on till the shads went down. You would think they were naked. But all they took off was their dress and Mama would say "Pull down the shades" and all hell would break out.

Many a trip at Christmas time, we came to Brooklyn with the kids. How could we go to a hotel or motel for 10 days. So we came in from the airport with Bunny, Ilene, Barry and all our luggage. Same apartment. We all sleep over now in the same small apartment and we love it. All family together. The nicest and most wonderful visit. The kids could not wait to go to grandmas house. The aunts and uncle spoiled them, unbelievably. At Christmas time, everybody got presents. Ilene and Barry made out like bandits. You have to understand the Smith crew. For instance Vera young and impetuous, pretty vivacious. Dressed like a weirdo, wild hairdo, lots of make up talked fast. Hard to keep up with her. Aunt Ethel and Uncle Charlie would bring the kids more presents and then sleep over it was great, wonderful happy occasions. I'll never forget those Christmas visits to N.Y. Ilene and Barry will recall I'm sure. It was Depression time. Vera was nervous, out looking for any job. She had to get work. She needed to buy make-up. She's single she wears extra high heels. She walks into a restaurant and as luck would have it. The owner puts her right to work as cashier she is bright but not in the numbers department (2 + 2 = 6). So the owner is showing her how to ring up a sale. In comes a customer. She is so excited, that she got the job that she takes the money and throws up in the cash register, all over the money. Everything, if you can picture this. The owner is cleaning up the dollars with puke all over them. He literally throws her out of the restaurant. Vera lost the job in our hour. She told us this story. She was maybe 16.

My first love who I was to married to between 1935 and 1980 was Bernice "Bunny" Smith. I've got to tell you how I got into the Smith family and married "Bunny". We were living on St. Johns Place, next door to each other. It was a summer day, Bunny was 16. Taking a walk in front of our apartment building. I see this very attractive young girl, pushing a baby carriage. I take another look. We look at each other and burst out laughing. Lenny Smith, the baby is drinking milk out a whiskey bottle. He was a newborn baby. Four years later, I married the girl of my dreams and what a beautiful, warm, great relationship we had. Ups and downs but we had each other, because we fell in love. One step forward and two back and we made it. 44 years of the best marriage anyone could ever have and a loss I never got over. We had 2 kids, Ilene and Barry.

Getting back to the smiths. This was some family to get into. I was brought up in an orthodox Jewish home from Russia. I was born in Bronx, N.Y. Gradually Bunny and I developed a relationship living in Brooklyn, next door to each other. The family always poor. Each year, the family moved because by moving and signing a lease for an apartment for 1 year you would get 2 months free (maybe). One for sure. What did we kids know about finance or rent. We had a place to eat and sleep. Home and family. We were happy if we were working. Remember this was depression days. President Roosevelt elected into office 1932. 54% unemployed, lines of workers for jobs 48 hour work week at $1/hr. Times were tough. You could not get a job, regardless of money. Work was impossible to get. President Roosevelt closed and froze all bank accounts. All citizens were frantic. I was stuck. I had $1000 in 5 different banks, a big saver at 19. You know how they paid us out, think of it, I got a check for $0.30 or $0.10 over a period of time I received $5.00. Imagine if you had a lot of money in the bank. If you want to read history of American banking, look up and read the banking story beginning with 1929. The stock market crashed and then President Roosevelt freezes banks the first year. A remarkable law that he pushed through congress with the top banker, Morgan, a prominent but successful Jewish banker. Brilliant, Roosevelt knew how to pick good men. That is why he was a great president.

Getting back to the Smiths. Some funny memories:
Each year and eventually we moved across the street from each other. The smith family at 386 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn 2nd floor. Mama Dora, Papa Joe, Marjorie 19, Nettie 18, Sonnie 11, Vera 10, Bunny 16, and Lenny 3. All working, nobody making money. They divided up the expenses. Bunny and I after we were married moved across the street, in a new elevator building on the fifth floor. Ilene was 1 or 2 years old. The only child in the family. Two grandparents living across the street, 5 aunts and uncles from 2 to 21 in 7th heaven with Ilene, a "Shirley Temple" type. Pretty, adorable, loving and easy to take care of. Bunny and I had a ball. Baby sitters, nights out, family fighting to come over for us to get out and go to a movie. Never cost me a dime. Who ever came over threw us out. They wanted Ilene; the only baby in captivity.

Lets go back a few years. The smith apartment - 6 adults, 1 bathroom, 2 bedrooms, small kitchen, and 1 living room.
Mama Dora, the sweetest best mother. The best mother [in-law] a son could ever have. She loved me and I loved her. Many a night I slept over (too late to go home). I slept in the back boy's bedroom. The whole apartment was about 900 square feet. There were 2 small double beds. I slept with Sonny. Ed slept with Lenny. Pop came home drunk every night fell asleep on the couch, singing, snoring but never abusive, unlike many, as a hat/cap manufacturer (one size fits all). He invented a boys cap that could have made him a millionaire many times over, but the deal fizzled and never worked out. He had made it but could not get it promoted. I have got to tell you a story about Dora and Joe. I think it happened every Saturday. Joe would come home soused on Friday nights, fell on the sofa in the living room. Every Saturday morning Mama Dora would take a bath, powder herself, real good. Lots of powder on her feet. Then she would walk from the bathroom to the sofa where Papa Joe was fast asleep. She would leave her white foot prints on the burgundy carpet, go through his pockets as he never undressed. She would take his money and he never moved. When he hot up he would rant and rave but that was all. That was a comedy scene. When he got up a little hung over, he would say in a loud voice, "Vot you do with my money, voman vere is my money?" (in his Russian accent which he never lost). Margie paid for the phone bills. She kept a lock on it so no one could make any phone calls. Nettie kept her money in her dresser and kept it locked. Everyone in the family know how to get these locks unlocked.

Papa Martin

[Now many years later we are trying to reconstruct some of Martin's memories.]

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