The cycle
of violence between the Jews and the Egyptians continues with no end
in sight in Egypt. After eight previous plagues that have destroyed
the Egyptian infrastructure and disrupted the lives of ordinary Egyptian
citizens, the Jews launched a new offensive this week in the form of
the plague of darkness.
Western journalists were particularly enraged by this plague. "It
is simply impossible to report when you can't see an inch in front of
you," complained a frustrated Andrea Koppel of CNN. "I have
heard from my reliable Egyptian contacts that in the midst of the blanket
of blackness, the Jews were annihilating thousands of
Egyptians. Their word is solid enough evidence for me."
While the Jews contend that the plagues are justified given the harsh
slavery imposed upon them by the Egyptians, Pharaoh, the Egyptian leader,
rebuts this claim. "If only the plagues would let up, there would
be no slavery. We just want to live plague-free. It is the right of
every society."
Saeb Erekat, an Egyptian spokesperson, complains that slavery is justifiable
given the Jews' superior weaponry supplied to them by the superpower
God.
The Europeans are particularly enraged by the latest Jewish offensive.
"The Jewish aggression must cease if there is to be peace in the
region. The Jews should go back to slavery for the good of the rest
of theworld," stated an angry French President Jacques Chirac.
Even several Jews agree. Adam Shapiro, a Jew, has barricaded himself
within Pharaoh's chambers to protect Pharaoh from what is feared will
be the next plague, the death of the firstborn. Mr. Shapiro claims that
while slavery is not necessarily a good thing,it is the product of the
plagues and when the plagues end, so will
the slavery. "The Jews have gone too far with plagues such as locusts
and epidemic which have virtually destroyed the Egyptian economy,"
Mr. Shapiro laments. "The Egyptians are really a very nice people
and Pharaoh is kind of huggable once you get to know him," gushes
Shapiro.
The United States is demanding that Moses and Aaron, the Jewish leaders,
continue to negotiate with Pharaoh. While Moses points out that Pharaoh
had made promise after promise to free the Jewish
people only to immediately break them and thereafter impose harsher
and harsher slavery, Richard Boucher of the State Department assails
the latest offensive. "Pharaoh is not in complete control of the
taskmasters," Mr. Boucher states. "The Jews must return to
the negotiating table and will accomplish nothing through these
plagues."
The latest round of violence comes in the face of a bold new Saudi peace
overture. If only the Jews will give up their language, change their
names to Egyptian names and cease having male children, the Arab nations
will incline toward peace with them, Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah declared.
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